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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professional Thumbsucker jobs? · Latest report #czy9uepy
Your job has an expiration date
August 21, 2053
In 26 years, 10 monthsA specialized skill set requiring immense dedication to absolute nothingness.
Lead aesthetic consultant for early childhood development
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Pure synthetic comfort without the dental risks.
bzzt.youAI▸ SUCK-O-MATIC 9000▸ RARITY · MYTHIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 26 YEARS, 10 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers immediate psychological soothing protocols
This role involves the rhythmic application of oral suction to a digit to achieve emotional regulation or boredom. It requires extreme low-level biological endurance.
The one thing AI can't do
You provide a level of authentic, unhygienic comfort no polymer can replicate.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 16
Sensors map the optimal comfort geometry of your thumb for future hardware emulation.
Year 7
Synthetic biocompatible silicone prototypes replace the damp organic tissue experience.
Year 14
Smart-soothers introduce precise rhythmic pulses to replace your erratic organic suction cadence.
Year 21
The system adjusts pressure levels to guarantee perfectly aligned teeth during the process.
Year 27 · D-Day
The machine completely assumes the soothing role as you retire from oral fixation duties.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
4 psi
Average suction pressure
98%
Daily digit sogginess
11/10
Social awkwardness index
Your severance
One oversized pacifier and a lifetime of regret.
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