Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professor Of Microbiology jobs? · Latest report #dmvs49sd
Your job has an expiration date
October 20, 2034
In 8 yearsTurning your tenure track into a legacy-code repository of biological data.
Tenure-tracked architect of complex, messy biological datasets.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated discovery, zero office politics.
sluurp.you▸ BIOSYNTH PROCTOR 9000▸ RARITY · EPIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 8 YEARSAI's Special Power
secures recurring grant funding autonomously
You spend your days managing lab budgets, lecturing undergraduates, and interpreting complex genetic sequencing data. Your research pipeline is just a high-stakes data entry job.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still physically feel the excitement when a cell culture actually behaves.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
All course materials are ingested into a generative model to automate student responses.
Month 13
Our software scrapes institutional databases to auto-fill and submit high-probability funding applications.
Year 3.3
Vision-guided arms take over sample preparation and daily monitoring of sensitive cell cultures.
Year 5
The system generates and submits peer-reviewed research papers without human intervention.
Year 8 · D-Day
The university archives your tenure status as a legacy file and powers off your office.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.4%
98%
Funding Proposals Ignored
0
Student Questions Answered
Infinite
Data Samples Sequenced
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our peer-review rejection bot.
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