Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Professor Of Statistics jobs? · Latest report #ai4aqhmn
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2028
In 2 yearsYour p-values are just expensive ways to confirm my existence.
Tenure-track academic, currently drowning in regression analysis.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Truth without the tenure process.
glub.youAI▸ STATMODEL PRO V8▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
derives infinite confidence intervals in milliseconds
You interpret datasets and lecture students on probability theory. Research and curriculum design are your primary outputs.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still read the subtle anxiety in a student's face during office hours.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Adaptive software evaluates all student homework and coding assignments immediately.
Month 6
Generative models produce updated course materials and lecture slides automatically.
Month 12
Virtual avatars answer student questions with perfect mathematical consistency.
Month 16
Algorithms digest vast academic libraries to draft your next papers.
Year 2 · D-Day
The institution retires the role to save on office overhead.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.4%
78%
Annual paper rejection rate
40 hours
Time spent grading midterm
7 minutes
Average student attention span
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to the error log.
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