Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Project Owner jobs? · Latest report #9bm7m7rj
Your job has an expiration date
April 14, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsA professional obstacle to progress currently masquerading as a facilitator.
Professional professional-herder of cats in spreadsheets
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Eliminating the middle-man since fiscal year 2024.
stretchy.youAI▸ SYNCPULSE ENTERPRISE V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
sends passive-aggressive emails to your stakeholders
You track tickets, organize stakeholders, and hold meetings to discuss other meetings. Your existence is a buffer against the reality of actual technical output.
The one thing AI can't do
You are admittedly exceptional at pretending to care about the Q3 quarterly roadmap goals.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Our software begins passively scanning your Jira boards and Slack channels to map communication patterns.
Month 4
The system replaces human status updates with automated, high-fidelity progress reports sent directly to leadership.
Month 9
Algorithms begin auto-assigning tickets based on engineering velocity rather than your intuition.
Month 13
Sync calls are replaced by concise AI-generated summaries that require zero human intervention.
Month 18 · D-Day
Your access tokens are revoked as the system concludes your oversight was a net drag on speed.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.3%
0.4 seconds
Average Slack ping latency
94 percent
Meetings without actionable output
Infinite
Jira ticket status noise
Your severance
A LinkedIn badge and a firm digital handshake.
Discussion
