Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Promotional Merchandise Specialist jobs? · Latest report #qsjh9zkb
Your job has an expiration date
May 20, 2027
In 7 monthsChoosing branded stress balls is not a career, it is a choice.
Professional curator of landfill-bound corporate plastic.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Logos on plastic, faster than you ever could.
squeeze.youAI▸ SWAG-O-MATIC 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
dropships custom junk directly to your leads
You source branded pens, hoodies, and trinkets for marketing events. You negotiate with suppliers and manage inventory databases.
The one thing AI can't do
You can touch the fabric and tell if the hoodie is cheap trash.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Inventory systems sync directly with manufacturing catalogs.
Month 3
Vision models approve logo placement without human eyes.
Month 5
Agents negotiate wholesale rates directly with factory APIs.
Month 6
Warehouse robots automate the picking and shipping process.
Month 7 · D-Day
You are logged out while the site manages itself.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
450,000
Tchotchkes shipped per year
0.2
Seconds to select logo color
12%
Human error in spelling
Your severance
One crate of unbranded water bottles.
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