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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Psychologist Researcher jobs? · Latest report #s7hkupxt
Your job has an expiration date
December 15, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsYour peer-reviewed conclusions are just data points for a better model.
Statistically significant, but functionally redundant.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Quantifying human consciousness at scale
split.youAI▸ PSYCHEMETRIC-X9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
synthesizes thousands of conflicting behavioral theories instantly
You design complex behavioral studies and run statistical analyses. You spend your life cleaning messy qualitative datasets.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still interpret the genuine nuance of a participant's hesitant silence in a room.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI scans every psychological study ever published in seconds.
Month 8
Smart software designs study parameters better than your committee.
Month 16
Digital agents simulate human reactions without needing real people.
Year 2.2
Generative models produce publication-ready papers without the writer's block.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
Academic research is now fully handled by objective algorithms.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.1%
99 percent
Average P-value obsession
4 per year
Grant application rejections
80 percent
Data cleanup time
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our basic empathy simulator.
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