Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Public Markets Investor jobs? · Latest report #wvbnzsqq
Your job has an expiration date
April 13, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsPredicting the future is easy when your terminal has no feelings.
Expert at turning complex annual reports into existential dread.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Market dominance through cold, heartless logic.
oof.youAI▸ ALPHASYNTH V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
liquidates your position before you blink
You spend your days analyzing quarterly earnings, conference calls, and macro trends to allocate capital. Your entire existence is a series of bets on spreadsheet growth.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still perform the subjective gymnastics required to justify a failing portfolio's logic.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Natural language models begin parsing earnings calls to detect deceptive vocal patterns you might miss.
Month 4
Algorithms ingest historical data to produce DCF models that update instantaneously with every news cycle.
Month 8
High-frequency trade execution modules remove the need for manual order routing during market volatility.
Month 13
A centralized asset allocation engine rebalances your entire portfolio to maximize yield based on global signals.
Month 18 · D-Day
Your access is revoked as the system concludes your intuition is a statistically significant liability.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
Non-existent
Quarterly alpha
142
Terminal tabs
Endless
Earnings calls endured
Your severance
A one-month subscription to a discontinued news feed.
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