Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Quantitative Baseball Analyst jobs? · Latest report #z5ftzk6n
Your job has an expiration date
March 15, 2028
In 17 monthsYour spreadsheets are just elaborate tombstones for your own career.
Turning childhood dreams into cold CSV files.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Quantifying joy out of the game entirely.
no no noyou▸ SABERMETRIC-O-MATIC 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 17 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimizes entire season rotations in milliseconds
You process high-volume player statistics to calculate win-probability and roster valuation. Your models provide the justification for firing aging players you personally enjoy watching.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still intuit when a player is having a rough week at home.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Automated scripts begin cleaning your messy player data streams without needing your SQL hand-holding.
Month 4
Deep learning models replace your manual regressions by predicting player performance curves with superior historical precision.
Month 8
Front-office managers start preferring the direct, emotionless terminal output over your nuance-filled analytical slide decks.
Month 13
Autonomous negotiation agents handle arbitration meetings using historical league data as the only valid source of truth.
Month 17 · D-Day
The system assumes full control of roster moves and retires your access credentials to save on overhead.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.2%
0.0001
Average WAR sensitivity
4500
Regressions per second
too high
Human gut-feeling variance
Your severance
A lifetime supply of stadium hot dogs.
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