Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Quantitative UX Researcher jobs? · Latest report #9uaqbveu
Your job has an expiration date
December 15, 2027
In 14 monthsTurning your survey noise into actionable data silence, one dashboard at a time.
Staff Quant Researcher (expert in p-hacking your career prospects)
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated empathy at petabyte scale.
ow.you▸ SYNTHETICA INSIGHT ENGINE V4.2▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates A/B testing sentiment analysis overnight
Design quantitative research studies and perform statistical analysis to derive user behavioral insights. You translate complex datasets into slide decks that nobody reads.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still perform the ritual of nodding solemnly during stakeholder presentations.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Large language models now generate survey questions directly from your Jira feature tickets.
Month 4
Scripts ingest real-time telemetry data, bypassing the need for manual CSV cleaning entirely.
Month 8
Autonomous agents now identify statistical trends faster than your brain can process a p-value.
Month 12
Live dashboards update metrics continuously, rendering your slide deck creation process completely obsolete.
Month 14 · D-Day
The system assumes control of product strategy, removing the human interpretative layer for good.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
40 hours
Time spent justifying sample size
Negative
Impact on product shipping velocity
98 percent
Slides ignored by leadership
Your severance
A one-year license to an empty Figma file.
Discussion
