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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace R&D Lab Technician jobs? · Latest report #uvvi4zmi
Your job has an expiration date
May 20, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsYour passion for foam patterns is just data for our algorithm.
Lab tech who knows every portafilter nuance intimately.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect extraction, zero caffeine intake required.
bzzt.you▸ BREWSYNTH LAB-BOT 9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
standardises extraction across ten thousand units
You calibrate espresso machines and run constant extraction tests. Now we just build machines that calibrate themselves.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment a grind setting causes bitterness by smell alone.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors attached to your current machines collect all performance data.
Month 7
Robotic arms perform grind adjustments based on real-time flow feedback.
Month 15
Software models replace manual heat cycle monitoring and observation.
Year 1.9
Modular systems swap their own worn gaskets without human help.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
The lab is fully autonomous and your badge access is revoked.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
4 kilograms
Coffee beans wasted daily
99.9 percent
Calibration cycles automated
too high
Human error in extraction
Your severance
A lifetime supply of lukewarm, machine-made decaf.
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