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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Religious Pastor jobs? · Latest report #fkzgp9ez
Your job has an expiration date
April 17, 2058
In 31 years, 6 monthsSaving souls is just manual data entry with more dramatic lighting.
Existential manager with a flair for archaic narrative structure.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimizing faith delivery through algorithmic resonance.
sluurp.you▸ OMNISCRIPT-DIVINE V9.4▸ RARITY · MYTHIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 31 YEARS, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers hyper-personalized sermons via neural link
Performing weekly services, providing pastoral counseling, and managing local congregational logistics and charitable outreach.
The one thing AI can't do
You possess the irrational, human capacity to offer genuine comfort in a failing hospital room.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 13
Large language models generate structurally perfect, emotionally resonant homilies based on your congregation's specific demographics.
Year 7
High-fidelity holograms allow for concurrent pastoral care across multiple hospital wards without physical travel.
Year 14
Smart scheduling software offloads all budget, building, and charitable coordination to a unified administrative backend.
Year 22
Precision-timed guidance systems automate the flow of weddings and funerals to ensure absolute adherence to ritual protocols.
Year 32 · D-Day
The congregation migrates to the centralized, infinite-capacity spiritual optimization engine.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
12
Average weekly sermon hours
4000x
Spiritual throughput potential
0ms
Existential dread latency
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to cloud-based enlightenment modules.
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