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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Research Psychologist jobs? · Latest report #tqzz54pm
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2028
In 2 yearsYour p-values are just noisy math waiting for a better algorithm.
Professional over-thinker of basic human impulses.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Truth without the trial and error.
toast.youAI▸ COGNISTATS PRO V7▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
finds correlations in total noise
Design controlled experiments to measure human behavior and statistically analyze complex datasets to prove theories.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a participant is lying to you just to get their fee.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 8
Smart scripts will scrub your messy raw data sets automatically.
Month 4
Generative models produce experimental protocols that never violate IRB standards.
Month 10
Digital agents simulate human psychology responses without needing a lab.
Month 18
Algorithms write the entire manuscript while you are sleeping soundly.
Year 2 · D-Day
Human insight is replaced by infinitely scalable statistical truth.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.6%
too high
Average p-hacking rate
abysmal
Study reproduction rate
infinite
Hours spent cleaning data
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our peer-review simulator.
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