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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Retail Party Assistant jobs? · Latest report #k93wetqy
Your job has an expiration date
December 15, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsYour expert knowledge of balloon color codes is remarkably easy to script.
Professional balloon wrangler and paper plate curator.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated cheer, zero helium leaks.
oof.you▸ PARTYBOT V-2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
inflates 500 latex balloons without losing breath
You stock shelves with plastic streamers and inflate latex balloons for demanding customers.
The one thing AI can't do
You can judge whether a customer is actually joking about the balloon color scheme.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
RFID tags track every paper plate in real-time.
Month 10
Precision nozzles replace the manual pumping of latex.
Month 20
Touchscreen selectors replace your sales advice entirely.
Year 2.5
Gantry arms pull party themes from high shelves.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
The shop is now fully autonomous and glitter-free.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94.4%
42
Balloons popped per hour
99%
Tangled ribbon probability
Infinite
Happy birthday song fatigue
Your severance
A lifetime supply of deflated party hats.
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