Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Retail Store Assistant Manager jobs? · Latest report #dud4b5pi
Your job has an expiration date
May 20, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsYou exist solely to unlock the bathroom for screaming toddlers.
Expert in schedule Tetris and defusing Karen-level threats.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Total retail control, no breaks required.
split.you▸ SHOPMASTER V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
restocks shelves while firing unproductive floor staff
You juggle staff schedules, reconcile cash registers, and handle angry customers who demand to speak to someone higher.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment a shoplifter is about to bolt.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
An algorithm takes over the headache of weekly shift rotation.
Month 6
Smart registers reconcile themselves without human counting or error.
Month 13
Digital displays update all store prices in one instant sync.
Year 1.9
Voice-enabled kiosks handle returns and complaints with cold logic.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
The assistant manager role is officially deleted from the system.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
Zero
Shift coverage gaps
Instantly
Complaint resolution speed
Non-existent
Breakroom gossip capacity
Your severance
A one-year supply of complimentary store discount codes.
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