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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Retention Program Director jobs? · Latest report #zyfndhgc
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2028
In 2 yearsConverting student life stories into predictable data points for optimal churn.
School-to-data pipeline manager, expert in spreadsheet grief.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Predicting student failure before the student does.
oof.youAI▸ RETENTIONLOGIC V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
flags at-risk students with predictive analytics
You track student attendance and engagement metrics to prevent dropouts through scheduled interventions and mentorship programs.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment a teenager is lying about their homework status.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors and software scrape attendance logs to identify patterns daily.
Month 6
Algorithms predict dropout risk before a human notices the trend.
Month 12
Automated messaging systems handle all student check-ins and progress reporting.
Month 18
Centralized AI replaces all fragmented tracking spreadsheets and paper files.
Year 2 · D-Day
Human oversight is removed as the system manages retention autonomously.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.1%
99.9%
At-risk flags triggered
Optimized
Intervention success rate
Infinite
Meetings attended daily
Your severance
A PDF certificate of your past student engagement metrics.
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