Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Retention Representative jobs? · Latest report #2ikhdn8m
Your job has an expiration date
December 17, 2027
In 14 monthsYour emotional connection to the team is just a database flag.
Expert at pretending that losing streak was a fluke.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Turn churn into profit without the chatter.
squeeze.youAI▸ FANLOYALTY-BOT X9▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
deactivates accounts with automated personalized sadness
You chase season ticket renewals by calling angry fans. The machine just emails them a discount.
The one thing AI can't do
You can listen to a fan complain about the manager for twenty minutes straight.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
The AI maps every fan's renewal trigger points.
Month 3
Automated emails replace your script-reading calls.
Month 6
Credit card auto-updates remove the manual billing task.
Month 9
Chatbots handle the parking complaints with zero empathy.
Month 14 · D-Day
The retention department is converted into a server rack.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.5%
12 percent
Human churn mitigation
98 percent
Automated email conversion
4 per call
Human-caused awkward silences
Your severance
One signed jersey and a 'thank you' email template.
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