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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Retentions Advisor jobs? · Latest report #zpsqv3bw
Your job has an expiration date
June 20, 2027
In 8 monthsYou specialize in stopping people from cancelling their fake sense of security.
Professional guilt-tripper for expensive wall-mounted plastic sirens.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The ultimate loop for your customer retention.
help!youAI▸ VERIGRIP 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 8 MONTHSAI's Special Power
gaslights callers with perfect emotional empathy
Talk customers out of cancelling home alarm contracts. Navigate aggressive scripts while managing account retention quotas.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment a customer has actually stopped listening.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
AI copies your tone to handle basic retention inquiries.
Week 10
The system suggests the best discounts to keep customers.
Month 5
The AI handles the entire cancellation request autonomously.
Month 7
System learns to simulate human empathy during difficult calls.
Month 8 · D-Day
The entire retention floor is decommissioned for cloud efficiency.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.3%
4 per call
Average apology frequency
99 percent
Script adherence rate
5 liters
Coffee consumed per shift
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to the alarm system you couldn't save.
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