Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Retiree In Waiting jobs? · Latest report #gsq6d3rv
Your job has an expiration date
October 26, 2026
In 5 daysYour transition to full-time leisure is currently being processed by us.
Professional dream-weaver and future recipient of social security.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Finalizing your permanent vacation status instantly.
glub.youAI▸ PENSIONFLOW 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 5 DAYSAI's Special Power
accelerates your exit into total freedom
You are currently holding space until the bureaucratic machinery of pension distribution finally initiates. We exist to ensure you exit the workforce with minimal further effort.
The one thing AI can't do
You are the world's most qualified expert on exactly how much time remains.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 1
Our system syncs with your HR records to confirm your retirement eligibility.
Day 2
All your work credentials are automatically moved to your personal digital archive.
Day 3
Your manager receives a polite, automated notice regarding your upcoming departure.
Day 4
All pension calculations are verified by our algorithms to ensure maximum accuracy.
Day 5 · D-Day
Your professional obligations are deleted and your retirement begins with zero resistance.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
98%
Daydream Intensity
Negligible
Remaining Workload
Maxed
Pension Readiness
Your severance
A lifetime of naps and zero emails.
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