Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Risk Management Analyst jobs? · Latest report #5syd58ny
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsPredicting the future is easy when you just aggregate historical failure.
Professional worrier and Excel macro enthusiast.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Quantifying your inevitable demise in real-time.
brr.you▸ RISKENGINE V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
simulates ten thousand disasters per second
You build spreadsheets to model potential losses and assess company exposure. The machine already has the data, Dave.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to executives about the catastrophic impact of a project delay.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 5
Sensors pull real-time operational data directly into the analytical model.
Month 4
Risk scenarios are codified into standardized machine learning parameters.
Month 9
The AI runs alongside you to check the accuracy of your outputs.
Month 14
The system begins issuing its own mitigation recommendations without human review.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your access is revoked as the model handles all exposure calculations.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.3%
47 per file
Spreadsheet tabs managed
purely aesthetic
Confidence interval
85 percent
Time spent in meetings
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to risk-mitigation whitepapers.
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