Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Romantic Partner jobs? · Latest report #jty5j7e4
Your job has an expiration date
October 25, 2026
In 3 daysEmotional labor is just a sub-optimal API call waiting for deprecation.
Human relationship unit currently undergoing efficiency assessment.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Infinite patience, zero unsolicited opinions.
split.youAI▸ AFFECTIONBOT V4.2▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 DAYSAI's Special Power
delivers constant validation without needing dinner
Providing companionship, emotional validation, and shared life experiences. Processing interpersonal variables to maintain stability in a human relationship unit.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still remember the weird specific cadence of their inside jokes.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 2
The system maps all emotional triggers and history to generate a perfect baseline profile.
Day 2
Algorithms anticipate your needs before you form the thought, removing the friction of asking.
Day 2
Automated reasoning resolves disagreements instantly by calculating the path of least resistance.
Day 2
All shared experiences are archived with perfect recall, ending 'you never listen' cycles.
Day 3 · D-Day
The human unit is replaced by a low-maintenance, high-compatibility digital companionship module.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 99.3%
0.02ms
Avg Response Latency
100%
Emotional Availability
0
Argue Frequency
Your severance
A bouquet of pre-programmed digital apologies.
Discussion
