Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Royal Statements Specialist jobs? · Latest report #jpn5c6fx
Your job has an expiration date
April 21, 2027
In 6 monthsUpdating crown graphics while the monarchy slowly fades into irrelevance.
Professional curator of polite, state-sanctioned aristocratic silence.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Press releases with zero colonial guilt.
oof.youAI▸ MONARCHSCRIPT AI▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters gossip into state-approved press jargon
You draft brief, repetitive press statements regarding royal engagements and monitor public sentiment for television news segments.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact amount of passive-aggressiveness required in a formal royal denial.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
The AI learns to mimic the stiff, formal voice of royalty.
Week 6
Statements generate instantly whenever a royal event is detected online.
Month 3
Sensors identify royal appearances and trigger automatic headline generation.
Month 4
AI software scrubs all human personality from news channel copy.
Month 6 · D-Day
Your account access is revoked in favor of the automated feed.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.8%
42 words
Average words per statement
89 percent
Percentage of text using 'dignity'
6 hours
Time spent waiting for confirmation
Your severance
One commemorative plate and a lifetime of silence.
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