Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Rural Church Pastor jobs? · Latest report #47ekqk5a
Your job has an expiration date
December 1, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthConverting your Sunday wisdom into a downloadable, high-fidelity audio file.
Shepherd of the pews, master of the Sunday narrative.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Infinite sermons, zero existential dread.
splat.you▸ PASTORBOT 5000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
delivers hyper-personalized sermons via neural link
You draft theological sermons and manage spiritual counseling for your community. You also officiate weddings and funerals.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sit in silence with a grieving family and genuinely mean it.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Our model writes sermons based on decades of your archives.
Month 6
A refined language engine handles your routine pastoral chats.
Month 17
Standardized ceremony templates replace your manual wedding coordination.
Year 2.5
Smart software takes over all facility scheduling and budgeting.
Year 4 · D-Day
Your congregation logs in to a fully automated spiritual interface.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.7%
6000 words
Avg weekly word count
3:1
Funeral/Wedding ratio
94 percent
Average empathy index
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our prayer-generator API.
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