Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Sales Analytics Manager jobs? · Latest report #4hkadx3r
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsTurning your pivot tables into a weeping, obsolete spreadsheet icon.
Professional architect of quarterly revenue fiction
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated disappointment for your C-suite stakeholders.
squeeze.youAI▸ FORECAST-O-MATIC 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
gaslights the entire executive board daily
You interpret sales pipeline data to explain why quotas were missed. Automation will soon provide the same disappointing excuses without the mid-month anxiety.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to the VP with enough confidence to avoid immediate termination.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Smart agents identify and fix your manual CSV formatting errors before you arrive.
Month 5
Real-time regression engines replace your static Excel sheets with dynamic probability forecasting.
Month 10
Large language models author the slide decks you usually spend all night perfecting.
Month 15
Automated visualization tools remove your role as the middleman for management insight.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your access is revoked and the system now reports directly to the board.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.4%
13
Quarterly panic frequency
42%
Pivot table errors
99%
Vlookup dependencies
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to Excel Home Edition.
Discussion
