Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Sales Onboarding Consultant jobs? · Latest report #f57sfd8y
Your job has an expiration date
July 24, 2028
In 1 year, 9 monthsYou teach them how to sell while they forget how to learn.
Cultural architect of the cubicle farm.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect repetition for every new hire.







bzzt.you▸ ONBOARDER-PRO V.9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 9 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers instant feedback during live cold calls
You guide new sales hires through their ramp-up phase and company culture. You turn fresh recruits into quota-crushing machines.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect if a new hire is actually crying during their first cold-call block.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Standardized videos replace your morning welcome presentation.
Month 5
Speech AI simulates prospect objections for your new hires.
Month 10
The system prompts new hires with exactly what to say next.
Month 15
Sentiment analysis on internal chats monitors team morale automatically.
Month 21 · D-Day
Your access credentials expire as the software manages all human growth.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
42 days
Time to ramp-up
1800 cups
Coffee consumed
900 hours
Culture talks given
Your severance
One free subscription to a generic motivation app.
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