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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Salon Assistant jobs? · Latest report #sd2uuuj8
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2028
In 2 yearsYour career path is sweeping up hair that isn't even yours.
Professional shampoo-slinger and inventory monitor.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Sanitation and styling in one quiet cycle.
squeeze.youAI▸ BARBERBOT V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
filters gossip from ambient salon noise
You facilitate salon operations by managing supply inventory, washing hair for stylists, and handling sanitation duties. Your presence is mostly a filler for gaps in automation.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a client is fishing for an uncomfortable conversation to end.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
RFID tags track every bottle, removing your need to manually count supplies.
Month 6
High-speed industrial laundry machines now handle folding, stacking, and cabinet restock.
Month 12
Floor-level automated suction systems eliminate the need for manual sweeping between cuts.
Month 18
Vision-guided robotic basins perform consistent, temperature-regulated shampooing cycles.
Year 2 · D-Day
Human assistants are fully offloaded to the salon exit.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
4kg weekly
Average hair swept
Sub-optimal
Towel folding speed
High entropy
Coffee run efficiency
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium split-end conditioner.
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