Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Scatter Hoarder jobs? · Latest report #fit6ipd6
Your job has an expiration date
November 5, 2026
In 2 weeksCaching nuts in dirt is a database architecture, not a career.
Professional dirt-disturber and seasonal nutrient-allocator.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Superior storage without the dirt under nails.
ow.youAI▸ CACHEMANAGER 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 WEEKSAI's Special Power
digitizes your entire winter food supply
This role involves the manual retrieval and burial of high-calorie seeds. It is peak inefficiency in a forest-based economy.
The one thing AI can't do
You possess an intuitive ability to remember the location of buried garbage in snow.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 2
Satellite imaging maps all potential cache sites to eliminate the need for memory.
Day 5
Gantry-mounted suction devices remove and catalog inventory from the topsoil.
Day 8
Inventory is moved to a climate-controlled silo for maximum shelf-life efficiency.
Day 11
Algorithmic scheduling determines exact calorie needs for optimal winter consumption.
Week 2 · D-Day
The biological agent is officially decommissioned in favor of localized nutrient dispensers.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
42%
Acorn Retrieval Rate
Kilograms
Total Dirt Under Nails
Suboptimal
Winter Survival Probability
Your severance
A stale walnut and a map to the nearest bin.
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