Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace School Play Tree jobs? · Latest report #4fcv8e5z
Your job has an expiration date
September 21, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsYour cardboard bark is no match for our high-resolution projection mesh.
Rooted in place, technically a forest stand-in.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Static greenery that never sneezes.
glub.youAI▸ ARBORSCREEN V2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
projects perfect high-definition leaves on command
You stand motionless in costume while middle schoolers perform lines. You provide scenery through sheer endurance.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still sneeze without ruining the lighting plot for the entire scene.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 3
High-res photos of your best poses feed the new system.
Month 8
Mounted units replace your physical presence on stage.
Month 13
The software triggers light changes on cue during dialogue.
Month 18
The system runs loops without needing a bathroom break.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
Cardboard branches are recycled into meaningful student homework.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.8%
42 minutes
Average duration standing still
98 percent
Itchiness of foliage costume
Low
Chances of losing balance
Your severance
A lifetime supply of green felt scraps.
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