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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Seagull Whisperer jobs? · Latest report #2hteg85t
Your job has an expiration date
October 15, 2053
In 27 yearsA career path with more droppings than actual strategic value.
Professional avian negotiator with high tolerance for screaming.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Total aerial dominance through superior sound projection.
ow.youAI▸ AVIAN-BANISH 9000▸ RARITY · MYTHIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 27 YEARSAI's Special Power
projects high-frequency annoyance to clear the beach
You spend your days shouting at birds to stop stealing tourist lunches. You maintain bird-deterrent protocols.
The one thing AI can't do
You have the strange, innate ability to predict exactly which gull is about to dive.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 3
Sensors identify incoming flocks and trigger automated visual deterrence.
Year 4
Directional speakers broadcast mimicry of predatory birds to scare gulls.
Year 8
Small scrubbers remove droppings before tourists even notice the mess.
Year 16
AI models map gull flight paths to preemptively block landing zones.
Year 27 · D-Day
The final human whistler is replaced by a permanent sonic fence.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.6%
42
Gull-related insults per hour
11%
Sandwich theft prevention rate
3 seconds
Average gull attention span
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium stale breadcrumbs.
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