Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Seat Warmer jobs? · Latest report #x78g6txq
Your job has an expiration date
September 21, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsA revolutionary career built entirely on the principle of having glutes.
Biomass thermal regulator, prone to existential dread.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Heat without the heavy conversation.
ow.youAI▸ THERMALCORE V1.0▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
emits heat without needing a lunch break
Occupying a position to maintain localized ambient temperature for high-priority personnel. Ensuring seated comfort through biomass thermal radiation.
The one thing AI can't do
You are the only person who can endure a meeting without actually listening.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 3
Smart-thermostat pressure pads map the exact thermal signature required for peak executive comfort.
Month 8
Automated heating coils installed directly into the executive leather upholstery replace bulky biomass units.
Month 13
Software updates eliminate the human tendency to cough or shift, ensuring complete atmospheric silence.
Month 20
The system learns to pre-warm the chair five minutes before the executive enters the room.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
The biological heat source is decommissioned and repurposed for entry-level administrative waiting rooms.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.8%
98.6F
Thermal Output
100%
Average Idle Time
100%
Human Cost Saved
Your severance
One high-end ergonomic desk chair for your new desk.
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