Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Securitised Product Modeller jobs? · Latest report #ymxbj363
Your job has an expiration date
December 17, 2027
In 14 monthsYour complex cash flow waterfalls are just recursive functions waiting for deletion.
Master of circular references and complex debt waterfalls.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated liquidity and tranche distribution analysis.
sluurp.you▸ WATERFALLENGINE V4.2▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
calculates entire capital stacks in microseconds
You build complex Excel models to track tranches of debt payments and prepayments for collateralised loan obligations.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain to a panicked investor why the senior tranche yield dipped slightly.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Automated scripts pull trustee reports directly into our secure data lake.
Month 4
Custom LLM agents translate your manual Excel formulas into high-speed code.
Month 8
Virtual environments run ten thousand rate-hike scenarios every single morning.
Month 12
Investors receive instant waterfall updates without any human intervention.
Month 14 · D-Day
The spreadsheet is deleted and your access credentials are revoked permanently.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
12 percent
Average spreadsheet error rate
0.02 seconds
Time to run waterfall
4 cups
Coffee consumed per model
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a premium spreadsheet error checker.
Discussion
