Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Security Incident Commander jobs? · Latest report #8wuqxk3m
Your job has an expiration date
April 29, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsYour fancy slide deck can't stop a distributed denial of service.
Professional panic-manager in a dark, glowing command center.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Total breach containment without human panic.
ow.you▸ INCIDENTRESPONSE-OS V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates breach containment protocols instantly
Coordinates cross-team responses during major network security breaches. Directs mitigation efforts and maintains communication with technical stakeholders.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still articulate the specific politics of why a patch was rejected last year.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI watches your dashboard to learn patterns of normal failure.
Month 4
The system writes your post-mortem documents before you finish coffee.
Month 8
Bots automatically manage communication bridges during minor network incidents.
Month 13
System deploys fixes before you even open the ticket queue.
Month 18 · D-Day
The machine takes full command and silences your bridge lines forever.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94.1%
2 seconds
Time to root cause
0 units
Human panic events
0 liters
Coffee consumed per crisis
Your severance
One free subscription to a high-end mindfulness app.
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