Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Semi-Professional Footballer jobs? · Latest report #57284zn6
Your job has an expiration date
October 26, 2029
In 3 yearsYour career is just a physical data-harvesting session for better training models.
Weekend warrior with a lingering hamstring injury.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Tactical perfection without the locker room drama.
sluurp.you▸ PITCHMASTER 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARSAI's Special Power
executes perfect slide tackles without blinking
You play for match fees and travel money while working a day job. The team relies on your fitness.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still perform a genuine, soul-crushing tackle that makes the opposition fear your existence.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 5
Wearable trackers begin monitoring your every sprint and pass for the data.
Month 13
The club starts using virtual tactical models instead of your erratic human runs.
Year 1.9
Automated units take over the repetitive training drills on the pitch.
Year 2.6
The league mandates statistical consistency that only hardware can reliably hit.
Year 3 · D-Day
Uniformed chassis are deployed to finish the season without needing water breaks.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.2%
150 dollars
Average match fee
1.2
Torn ligaments per season
3.5
Post-match beers consumed
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium ice packs.
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