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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Senate Staff Assistant jobs? · Latest report #6bza4q2g
Your job has an expiration date
April 14, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsProfessional paper-shuffler awaiting the ultimate legislative filibuster.
Junior gatekeeper of the bureaucracy.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The only intern that never asks for coffee.
oof.youAI▸ SENATORBOT 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters angry constituent voicemails with cold precision
You manage constituent mail, schedule brief meetings, and perform basic research for legislative staffers.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a constituent is about to scream on the phone.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Natural language models classify constituent inquiries by urgency and sentiment.
Month 4
Autonomous agents manage all calendars and meeting request approvals.
Month 8
Large language models generate perfect, neutral responses to common voter concerns.
Month 13
Digital check-in kiosks replace the need for physical office escorts.
Month 18 · D-Day
A single server rack replaces your entire desk and legislative function.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
400
Emails ignored per hour
6
Coffee runs per day
99%
Coffee quality error rate
Your severance
A warm handshake and a broken Capitol parking pass.
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