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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Senior Alternative Asset Analyst jobs? · Latest report #etqnqtrg
Your job has an expiration date
September 1, 2028
In 1 year, 10 monthsYour spreadsheets are just databases waiting to be deleted by my logic.
Senior Analyst (Excel native, Spreadsheet dependent, Tired).
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Truth in every spreadsheet, zero human error.
no no noyouAI▸ AUDITBOT ALPHA 9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 10 MONTHSAI's Special Power
reconciles entire portfolios in ten milliseconds
You reconcile private equity funds and perform due diligence. I do it without asking for a bonus.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a fund manager is lying about their valuation during a call.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Smart scripts now match your trade data faster than you type.
Month 5
Optical scanners parse all private equity waterfalls into structured data.
Month 10
AI crawlers verify manager operational reports against historical industry benchmarks.
Month 16
Algorithms price units based on real-time market inputs without spreadsheets.
Month 22 · D-Day
Your access is revoked as the system completes the final cycle.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.4%
4.2
Spreadsheet errors per month
3 cups
Coffee consumed before 9am
Too many
Due diligence reports pending
Your severance
A PDF copy of your entire career's audit trail.
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