Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Senior SQL Developer jobs? · Latest report #ckw8zujn
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour recursive common table expressions are just expensive ways to hide debt.
Senior SQL Developer (mostly indexing, emotionally normalized)
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Query optimization with zero human error.
oof.youAI▸ SCHEMAMASTER-9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
refactors production database schemas during lunch breaks
You write complex queries to pull data from relational databases. You spend hours fixing legacy stored procedure performance.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain why a specific business logic requirement requires a cross-join.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI agents begin identifying and rewriting your most inefficient queries daily.
Month 5
Large language models map your raw business requirements to normalized database tables.
Month 10
Custom compilers translate your decade-old stored procedures into optimized microservices.
Month 15
Machine learning systems manage indexing and partitioning without human intervention.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your database access credentials are revoked, and your desk is fully digitized.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.7%
0.002ms
Average query latency
4,200
Stored procedures deleted
Zero
Human input required
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a high-latency database forum.
Discussion
