Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Servicedesk Engineer jobs? · Latest report #mhwcx5qt
Your job has an expiration date
April 21, 2027
In 6 monthsYou are just a human-shaped bridge between a user and a script.
Professional password resetter and chronic documentation ignore-er
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Closing tickets before the user finishes typing
split.you▸ TICKETTERMINATOR 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
auto-closes tickets with 'did you try rebooting'
You triage incoming tickets, follow internal documentation, and reset passwords until the queue finally stops growing.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the specific tone of a user who is lying about trying to restart.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 13
Natural language models begin tagging every ticket before you even read it.
Week 8
Scripted bots handle common password resets and basic software installation requests.
Month 3
Sensors identify hardware failures before users even report the issue.
Month 5
Users are directed to an intuitive interface that replaces human interaction.
Month 6 · D-Day
The entire ticketing system is fully autonomous and you are no longer required.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.8%
0.4 seconds
Average ticket resolution
42 percent
Human error rate
6 cups daily
Coffee consumption
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our automated password reset portal.
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