Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Sex Columnist jobs? · Latest report #ixfj77na
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour awkward prose will soon be replaced by efficient, optimized filth.
Professional oversharer and editor of other people's bedroom drama.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Generating authentic intimacy at scale.
toast.youAI▸ EROS-WRITER V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
generates scandalous headlines at millisecond speeds
You turn human intimacy into punchy, searchable paragraphs. Soon, algorithms will generate the same content without the existential dread.
The one thing AI can't do
You alone know how to make a complete lack of sexual experience sound like worldly wisdom.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI starts scanning reader letters to predict the next big topic.
Month 4
Algorithms generate the first drafts for your standard advice columns.
Month 8
The system learns your specific brand of pseudo-intellectual banter.
Month 13
Audience metrics show they prefer the faster, AI-generated scandal content.
Month 19 · D-Day
The CMS locks you out and uploads the automated column archive.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.8%
800
Average words per column
94%
Percentage of advice ignored
4 cups
Daily caffeine consumption
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our sentiment analysis platform.
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