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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Shampoo Test Subject jobs? · Latest report #7gjwf339
Your job has an expiration date
November 30, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthYour scalp is just an obstacle to faster product launch cycles.
Professional scalp-irritation enthusiast and liquid-contact specialist.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Synthetic eyes don't file liability claims.
bzzt.you▸ CORNEALSIM-9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
simulates chemical burns without the paperwork
You apply various chemical formulations to your eyes and scalp to report irritation levels for research.
The one thing AI can't do
You are the only one who can truly describe the subtle sting of citrus.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 4
Computers predict how chemicals interact with human tissues.
Month 19
Lab-grown tissue samples replace your actual forehead.
Year 2.5
Precision injectors apply product with zero human error.
Year 3.4
High-speed cameras detect redness faster than any eye.
Year 4 · D-Day
The lab door locks and your badge is deactivated.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.6%
400 yearly
Average eye irritation reports
too slow
Human reaction time
99.9 percent
Synthetic accuracy
Your severance
One lifetime supply of expired trial conditioner.
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