Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Skating Instructor jobs? · Latest report #74bz8iic
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2030
In 4 yearsTeaching children how to fall is a suboptimal use of gravity.
Professional ice-based trauma mediator for the very small.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Superior traction for the tiny and clumsy.
help!youAI▸ GLISSADE-BOT 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
stabilizes wobbling ankles with electromagnetic grip
You spend your days forcing toddlers onto ice and preventing concussions. Your knees are living on borrowed time.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still identify the exact moment a child finally stops being terrified.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
We upload your curriculum into a central repository to standardize the falling process.
Month 6
Automated kiosks replace the manual, time-consuming struggle of lacing up skates for toddlers.
Month 16
Vision-guided robotic rails guide beginners across the ice without human supervision.
Year 2.5
Sensors on the rink floor instantly detect impact to prevent human-to-human pile-ups.
Year 4 · D-Day
The final human instructor is replaced by a high-definition hologram loop of a penguin.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.8%
42
Band-aids consumed weekly
11
Tears shed per session
3
Seconds until impact
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium knee pads.
Discussion
