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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Snail Collection Specialist jobs? · Latest report #js4dkgmb
Your job has an expiration date
March 18, 2037
In 10 years, 5 monthsYour slow pursuit of slimy mollusks is fundamentally inefficient and entirely replaceable.
Professional lurker in dark, damp architectural voids.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The ultimate solution for damp, dark corners.
toast.youAI▸ MOLLUSK-VAC 9000▸ RARITY · LEGENDARY▸ DEPRECATION IN 10 YEARS, 5 MONTHSAI's Special Power
vacuums 400 snails before you stand up
Locating gastropods in dark, damp spaces and manually extracting them from corners or stair undersides.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense the subtle difference between a sleeping snail and an empty shell.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 16
Sensors map every corner of your staircase in high resolution.
Year 3.3
Micro-drones enter crawl spaces to identify snail heat signatures.
Year 5
Soft-grip robotic arms lift snails without damaging their shells.
Year 8
Precision vacuums remove all remaining slime and residue trails.
Year 10 · D-Day
The stairs are permanently sealed off from biological interference.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.3%
4.2
Snails per hour
2
Knees ruined annually
88%
Percentage of slime contact
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium garden salt.
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