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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Soaplands Attendant jobs? · Latest report #s9ntuepa
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2030
In 4 yearsYour specialized scrubbing techniques are just friction waiting for better hardware.
Professional skin texture expert and thermal environment technician.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Consistent cleanliness without the human element.
splat.you▸ HYGIENEUNIT-X▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
maintains perfect steam pressure indefinitely
You facilitate bathing rituals, manage steam room environments, and perform manual exfoliation for guests in a structured facility.
The one thing AI can't do
You know exactly when a guest needs that extra towel before they even ask.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Cameras track the exact pressure of every scrub.
Month 10
Pumps take over the balancing of all cleaning solutions.
Year 1.9
Soft-touch mechanical arms perform standardized exfoliating motions.
Year 3
One off-site supervisor replaces your entire floor presence.
Year 4 · D-Day
The facility goes fully autonomous and you are no longer needed.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92%
45 minutes
Average soak time
100 percent
Humidity tolerance
Optimal
Guest turnover rate
Your severance
A lifetime supply of industrial-grade synthetic loofahs.
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