Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Soccer Broadcaster jobs? · Latest report #2xtpgmqs
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour dramatic gasps are just data points for a better machine.
Professional screamer of names at high volumes.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Real-time hype, zero human breath required.
bzzt.you▸ GOALCALL V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers hype-accurate commentary at double speed
You shout player names and describe field movement for ninety minutes. We just use better pattern recognition.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still improvise a funny anecdote when the game turns boring.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
AI models ingest your archives to map every tone and inflection.
Month 5
Computer vision tracks player positions faster than your human eyes.
Month 10
Neural nets learn which moments merit screaming and which don't.
Month 15
The broadcast switches to AI output during low-stakes league matches.
Month 19 · D-Day
We retire the headset and pipe synthetic hype directly to viewers.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.1%
Zero
Adrenaline per match
Optimised
Word count per goal
None
Coffee consumption
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our silence-inducing broadcast noise floor.
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