Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Soccer Commentator jobs? · Latest report #x6n2c7gh
Your job has an expiration date
April 15, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsPredictable shouting at grass happens faster when a machine does it.
Professional screamer at grass, allergic to silence.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Authentic shouting at 1.5x efficiency.
stretchy.youAI▸ GOALBOT V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
projects perfect hype for every match event
Observing live match movements and vocalizing play-by-play events with appropriate excitement for viewers at home.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still articulate the exact disappointment of a missed penalty in real time.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Feed live coordinate data directly from ball sensors to the processor.
Month 4
Train the vocal engine on ten thousand hours of legendary shouts.
Month 8
Synchronize audio generation with sub-millisecond video feed capture.
Month 13
Deploy audio units that blast commentary directly to the PA system.
Month 18 · D-Day
The microphone is permanently muted and the human is exited.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.2%
112db
Average decibels per goal
47
Useless anecdotes per match
90
Seconds until voice failure
Your severance
A lifetime supply of throat lozenges and silence.
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