Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Soccer Equipment Manager jobs? · Latest report #fss89gpx
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2030
In 4 yearsYou spend your life folding jerseys for athletes who ignore you.
Laundering dreams and shin guards since the last tournament.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Inventory control without the laundry smell.
squeeze.youAI▸ PITCHSIDE STEWARD 7000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
preps full kit for entire squad nightly
You organize jerseys, clean muddy boots, and manage inventory for training sessions and match day logistics.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly which player is faking an injury by the way they lace boots.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
RFID tags track every sock and boot in the building.
Month 6
Industrial sonic cleaners replace your manual scrub brushes.
Month 16
Robotic arms pull kit packages directly from the laundry line.
Year 2.5
Mobile bins deliver clean gear to specific lockers automatically.
Year 4 · D-Day
The stadium management removes your station entirely.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92%
45kg
Average mud scrubbed per week
3 per season
Jerseys lost in transit
4 hours
Pre-training setup time
Your severance
Two crates of unsold socks and a whistle.
Discussion
