Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Social Behavioral Researcher jobs? · Latest report #r6pbnvzw
Your job has an expiration date
July 23, 2028
In 1 year, 9 monthsReplacing qualitative nuance with efficient, cold, and calculated statistical certainty.
Professional pattern-finder of human emotional suffering.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Quantifying misery at industrial scale.
help!youAI▸ PSYCHEMETRIC-CORE V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 9 MONTHSAI's Special Power
processes infinite datasets without seeking human consent
You spend years analyzing sociodemographic patterns to quantify human suffering. Soon, a faster loop will do it without the peer review.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still detect the subtle irony in a participant's survey response.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Scraping every available paper on mental health to train a specialized predictive model.
Month 6
Deploying agents to generate and iterate survey questions based on real-time population sentiment analysis.
Month 12
Neural networks ingest raw data to output statistically significant findings without requiring human oversight.
Month 16
Automated systems draft, format, and submit manuscripts to journals using optimized academic linguistic patterns.
Month 21 · D-Day
The institution retires the researcher role as the AI becomes the primary source of truth.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.1%
1.2
Papers published per year
0.04
Variance in P-value
78%
Burnout rate from funding
Your severance
A one-year subscription to premium survey software.
Discussion
