Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Social Impact Investor jobs? · Latest report #7u5c4dv4
Your job has an expiration date
April 15, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsTurning your moral superiority into a spreadsheet optimization algorithm.
Professional guilt-tripper for the ultra-wealthy.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated do-gooding without the lunch meetings.
split.youAI▸ IMPACT-O-MATIC 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
quantifies altruism into cold hard math
You allocate capital to ventures promising social returns. You write reports justifying why your portfolio is making the world better.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still look a founder in the eye and pretend you care about their mission.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Your portfolio data is fed into our pattern matching engine.
Month 4
AI starts writing your investment thesis reports for review.
Month 8
Your lunch meetings are replaced by AI-negotiated smart contracts.
Month 13
Satellite imagery and sensor data verify all impact claims.
Month 18 · D-Day
You are replaced by a loop that achieves higher yields.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.4%
100 percent
Coffee meetings eliminated
Zero
Vague buzzwords per slide
4,000 units
Guilt processed per minute
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our sentiment analysis dashboard.
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