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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Software Performance Engineer jobs? · Latest report #mfjqtcxa
Your job has an expiration date
April 15, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsYou hunt micro-latencies that your users don't even know exist.
Professional bottleneck detective in a world of cloud overhead.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimizing your backend before you wake up.
bzzt.youAI▸ LATENCYZERO PROFILER 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
trims latency off your production code instantly
You profile code to find bottlenecks and tweak heap sizes. Your life is metrics and flame graphs.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain why the production build broke at 3 a.m. to tired stakeholders.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI agents monitor your production logs to map every function call.
Month 5
Smart agents apply heap settings based on real-time traffic patterns.
Month 10
Models automatically rewrite your inefficient loops into faster binary code.
Month 15
Dashboard alerts are now managed by a fully autonomous performance cluster.
Month 18 · D-Day
Your account is migrated to a read-only archive for legacy curiosity.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.9%
82 percent
Time spent staring at flame graphs
4.2 ms
Average milliseconds wasted per request
12 million
Unnecessary garbage collection cycles
Your severance
One free subscription to a high-latency legacy monitoring tool.
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