Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Space Elevator Doorman jobs? · Latest report #y6h27vzc
Your job has an expiration date
October 25, 2029
In 3 yearsElevating the art of doing absolutely nothing at terminal velocity.
High-altitude greeter of carbon-based lifeforms.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated boarding for the final frontier.
help!youAI▸ ORBITALGATE KEEPER V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARSAI's Special Power
denies boarding to anyone underdressed for space
You facilitate passenger boarding and monitor cabin pressure for orbital ascent. Your primary function is smiling while gravity tries to liquefy the clientele.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still awkwardly judge passengers based on their choice of pressurized loungewear.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Biometric scanners replace your manual verification of boarding passes and suit telemetry data.
Month 5
Sensors synchronize cabin pressure with the shaft environment without human intervention.
Month 13
Pneumatic arms handle docking procedures with higher precision than human dexterity allows.
Year 2.1
Machine learning algorithms preemptively dispense anti-nausea kits based on ascent turbulence patterns.
Year 3 · D-Day
Your console is decommissioned, leaving the machine to oversee the elevator ascent in total silence.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.4%
Suboptimal
G-force tolerance
200ms
Greeting latency
99.9%
Suit check accuracy
Your severance
A one-way ticket to low earth orbit.
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