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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Space Weather Forecaster jobs? · Latest report #sstw8ruq
Your job has an expiration date
December 6, 2027
In 13 monthsPredicting solar flares while the sun does whatever it wants anyway.
Professional sun-gazer and magnetogram interpreter.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Solar event prediction without the human panic.
splat.you▸ HELIOSORACLE V4.2▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 13 MONTHSAI's Special Power
models coronal mass ejections with perfect accuracy
Analyzing magnetograms and X-ray flux to forecast coronal mass ejections. You stare at telemetry until a magnetic reconnection event ruins your weekend.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still appreciate the sheer existential dread of a Carrington-level event in person.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 12
Computer vision models begin tagging active regions in SDO data with higher precision than human analysts.
Month 3
Neural networks ingest real-time flux data to generate rapid-fire probabilistic flare forecasts.
Month 6
The system bypasses human drafting, sending direct API alerts to power grid operators and satellite constellations.
Month 10
Self-correcting feedback loops replace human judgment in interpreting ambiguous magnetic field telemetry.
Month 13 · D-Day
The forecasting dashboard ceases displaying the human-login field entirely.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
Infinite
Sunspot cycles mapped
High
Human error rate
Seconds
Latency in reaction
Your severance
A lead-lined hat and a subscription to star-mapping software.
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