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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Spaghetti Stirrer jobs? · Latest report #ijj7quuu
Your job has an expiration date
September 21, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsYour career is essentially just boiling water and hoping nobody complains.
Professional noodle-agitation technician with zero scalable output.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect viscosity through relentless mechanical rotation.
no no noyouAI▸ ALDENTE-X 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
maintains perfect fluid dynamics in boiling water
You manage the agitation of pasta to prevent clumping. Your existence is a thermodynamic inefficiency.
The one thing AI can't do
You can judge the perfect bite texture by throwing one noodle against a wall.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors synchronize cook times perfectly to eliminate human manual timing errors.
Month 6
High-torque robotic paddles replace manual stirring to ensure uniform heat distribution.
Month 12
Cameras monitor starch release to identify the exact second of al dente readiness.
Month 17
The entire cooking station connects to a central supply chain for continuous output.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
The human is removed from the boiling station, yielding total process optimization.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.3%
42 percent
Clump probability
6 minutes
Stirring endurance
sub-optimal
Human thermal capacity
Your severance
A lifetime supply of instant cup noodles.
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